Praying through the fear….

by ruthjohnston

Okay, I know…

I already covered prayer once, but for the record, that was just the basics and I will be covering it many more times.

For now however, I am praying today and wanted to cover what is on my mind.

Praying through fear. Fear of loss, and how much of that is selfish. The fear of losing someone precious, or sitting idly by while that particular person is going through pain, or possibly just a bit scared himself.

Well, first of all I usually remember at some point during the prayer cycle~that being prayer, wringing of hands, comtemplation, meditation and more prayer~ that it is out of my control, b….u….t….. not…..  really. As long as I have the ability to pray, I have some input. I also know, through experience, that just the process of praying, turning it over to G_d and relinquishing my needs calms me down and helps me to rationalize.

So why do I feel selfish? Well, I guess it comes down to my firm belief that once we cross over, once we join the others in the other realm (which by the way is so close you can touch it, but that’s another blog, for a far-off day), we leave physical pain and all of our worldly troubles behind us. Personally I look forward to it, and often realize when catching myself missing someone that is already there, how at peace I am with the whole process when I remember that this life here, is so fleeting, completely temporary and just a blip in the whole timeline of things.

That doesn’t make it easier when it comes to a person that gives so completely and easily of themselves, someone that contributes to the goodness of this world and just helps make life a complete joy; someone that should be around for a minimum of 120 years, they just offer so much to so many. So during those times, I allow myself to be selfish, and offer up a prayer asking my father to let us keep this soul, because they are so needed and not only my life, but the lives of so many are made so much brighter, better and easier because of all they offer.

I don’t feel so selfish then; you see it’s a prayer for others also…